So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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