Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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