Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
