So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
