good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
