The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
