Porn is love you can see.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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