The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
