I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
