im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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