Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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