i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
