I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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