I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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