Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
