I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
