I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I stole a fireplace last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
