I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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