I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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