I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
