when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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