did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize