if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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