Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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