She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
