the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How naked do you want me to be?
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