I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
