my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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