you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
