so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
