I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
