I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to make out with him forever
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
