Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You ate ashes out of my bong
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
