I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
