She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
