i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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