so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
dude. I can hear the air.
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