New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
