no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
