At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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