dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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