Grow some girl-balls and come out already
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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