Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
