Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
