I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
