You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there is glitter all over my balls
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