After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
