We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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