Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
