you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
